Here I am ... This is me !!!!!!

It started with an idea fuelled by this creative energy that zapped me one fine day I was contemplating suicide... err not me, my literary thoughts were .... But i really got overboard that time. I lay in a comfortable pushback chair, mulling over how to entertain myself with just a keyboard and a relic of a mouse... blogging wasnt actually alien, though untried of, and i was anyways done with all the sub 1 Megabyte games i could find in my mailbox. Too much of planning then went into planning the design for this page, so much so that i forgot that i was actually doing all this for a different reason. I dont know what made me view burdening the search engines a worthwhile time spent nor do i doubt that i have been insincere in past crushes with my infantile hobbies. A fellow blogger ( I am loving it !!!! taram...pamm... pammmm ..... the name sounds music to my brains burning in this binary world ... i shall be doing something that shall reflect off my true self ) and a colleague pointed out that true-blue bloggers got to be as consistent as the diastole that follows the systole.... (thats a literal and a figurative comparision.... !!!) Well, i guess some write for others, writing opinions to giving advice while a few others use this ruse to deceive their brains of their depleting memory reserves. For me, i have got some space to scribble for free... writing for myself rather than playing the quintessential entertainer or self-help guru.... here I am with some pure rambling .... blah blah blah !!!!!!

Mind of a Child

My mind feels like the mind of a child, with a very small scope for mature thought. I remember being a man, dictated to turn to an unwinding key like some 'mature' toy even though my mind doesn't really conform to this. That i feel punished when I am asked to behave well in this neo-civilized society, adds to my woes. I am making a lifetime of decisions to do things I did not wish to do. Even the knowledge of having a free will doesn't really help me. I still see myself walking the sands bare-footed, watching the sea birds skim over the tides, the sun settling down into the warm waters as if fanned by the wayward breeze flowing down the shores. So, as I would live my life being an elder brother to my kid sister or a doting father to my beloved daughter, I still want to die a carefree child, my soul still pure, free of malice, and full of a zest for life!!!